There has been a LOT of changes in the food that comes into my house and I’m learning more about nutrition than I ever could have thought was out there to learn.

I’m on a very restricted diet of a maximum of 140 carbs per day.  That is split up into:

3 meals @ 30 max carbs each

2 snacks @ 20 max carbs each and

1 sweet treat per night if my carb totals allow it.

Since the carb watch is for diabetes I’m not allowed to ‘bank’ carbs for a big meal at night or a real big treat.  It’s spread out to keep my blood sugar at a good steady level. 

That’s not too hard BUT then I have a daily limit of 1500 sodium.  Rarely have I kept to 1500, my usual average is 1700/1800 with the occasional 2000+ day.   This is something that I will continue to struggle with and to work on day by day.

There are some important things I’ve learned in all this:

1)     This is not a diet.  This is a complete change of life.  All diet programs tell you that their method of weight loss must be embraced as a way of living and it always sounded like “blahblahblahblah” to me.  This time is very different.  My inability to make a “change of life” to my diet very nearly cost me my life. 

2)     I can ‘bank’ my sodium but eating salads all day and having a big salty dinner = massive headache, rise in BP, a thirst beyond description and then 2 days of feeling water logged and bloated.  So not worth it.

3)     Not enough fat in my diet = very uncomfortable days.  ‘Nuff said, figure it out.

4)     It’s ok to eat when I’m hungry.  This isn’t a diet meant to starve me.  It’s a change of life meant to teach me how to eat to nourish my body and if it tells me that it’s hungry then I need to feed it.  It may not get what it WANTS to eat…..but it gets something.

5)     Justifications to eat things I shouldn’t = my brain lying to me. 

a.      Thought:  “I’ve been so good for one/two/three weeks that I deserve a night off to eat something wonderful and not think about every morsel I’m eating.”   Translation: “I’m so sick of weighing food and watching every bite that I  am going someplace tasty and blowing 2 days worth of carbs and a week worth of sodium on one really tasty and really crappy for me meal!”

b.      Thought: “This is a really special place and a really special occasion that won’t be repeated easily or again so I’m going to go ahead and indulge a little this meal and enjoy this place/occasion.”  Translation: “I’m so sick of weighing food and watching every bite that I  am going someplace tasty and blowing 2 days worth of carbs and a week worth of sodium on one really tasty and really crappy for me meal!”   

Over all, it hasn’t been that bad.  Do I miss chips, ice cream, chocolate, salty and buttery popcorn, and eating an entire pound of spaghetti for dinner?  Yes.  Yes, I do.   It’s ok to miss eating the way I used too.  It’s ok to miss potato chips, movie theatre popcorn, chocolate (Oh God, how I miss you), ice cream, and all the other things I would over eat on a daily basis.  I can acknowledge how destructive the behavior was and realize I can’t go back to that or it will kill me, no exaggeration. 

I guess the bottom line is; can I LIVE without eating those things/that way?  Yes, I can.  I know for a fact that I would have died if I had continued to eat the old way.