"I'll start a diet next week"

"I just went grocery shopping, when this 'bad' food is gone I'll start on a diet"

"ChristmasNewYearThanksgivingEasterValentinsDay is just around the corner, I'll start a new diet right after that."

"I worked so hard this week, I deserve one more weekend before I go on a diet."

Those are a handful of the excuses that have carried my eating habits for the past 20 years.  Each one made perfect sense at the time and was the perfect justification for eating just one last 'bad' meal/treat.  All that time I kept thinking that I had time to fix the minor damage I was causing to my body.  Until one day time ran out, the damage had not been so minor and had made itself known in the form of a stroke.

I had a hemorraghic stroke caused by hypertension.  Not very common as far as strokes go, but basically my blood pressure got so high that it blew out a vessel in my brain. It was caused by years of unresolved high blood pressure which was the result of a terrible diet.  Of course they found diabetes as well, which wasn't surprising at my size with my diet.  If you pricked my finger I would have bled frosting(Boy do I miss frosting....).

It could have been so much worse.  Had I ignored it or been asleep when it happened I would have been in serious trouble and the damage would have been much more extensive and possibly permanent.  I had 6 days to sit in a hospital bed and think about what I had done to myself, it was the ultimate 'time-out'.As the Queen of Procrastination I've learned a valuable lesson in taking care of business and paying your way.  I had the fun, now I have to pay the piper and take care of business.  Does it suck?  Oh yeah, a LOT.  

 I was talking at work today and we were discussing kids and how they have seem to have lost a sense of personal responsibility and the irony really hit me.  I *REALLY* did bring this on myself with years of eating bad foods and not exercising.  It was my fault and no one else's, so each day of frustration and anger can't be aimed at anyone else but myself.  The universe didn't do this to me, it wasn't God, it wasn't my family, it wasn't my ex husband (although I still blame him, just on principle).  It was my fault.  The damage wasn't caused in 1,2, or even 10 months time and it's not going to be fixed that fast.  I put in the time enjoying myself and now I have to pay on a daily basis for that really delicious ride.

I've been in charge of my own life and all the decisions that led me to where I am, good and bad, were all mine.  

Enough heavy stuff :) Here's a low carb (NOT low calorie) dessert that tastes amazing!

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries
Photo provided by thesweetlife.com
5 Servings


Ingredients:
-1 lb large strawberries
-8 oz. cream cheese, softened
-2-3 tbsp sugar substitute (adjust for personal flavor)
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-2 graham cracker squares, crushed (for lower carb, leave these out)

Directions:
1. Rinse strawberries and cut around the top of the strawberry. Remove the top and clean out with a paring knife, if necessary (some may already be hollow inside). Prep all strawberries and set aside.


2. In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar substitute, and vanilla until creamy. Add cream cheese mix to a piping bag or ziploc with the corner snipped off. Fill strawberries with cheesecake mixture. Once strawberries are filled, dip the top in graham cracker crumbs. If not serving immediately, refrigerate until serving.

Nutritional info provided by Spark recipe calculator: